Saturday, December 31, 2016

It's my birthday!

Today is my birthday! I'm 44 years old. Holy crapballs, it's been a year. Wish I could say a great year but that's just not the case. A lot of beautiful things have happened. But a lot of shit storm situations happened too. I'm a positive person in generally. Really, I laugh at half the crap that has happened. The music of my youth was shattered by many deaths, but their music lives on in me. My memories, nothing can take away that.

The positives:

I spoke at Palooza for the Crisis Text Line, that was a great moment of the year! Never shared my story before and those amazing Crisis Counselors were so loving and caring.

My children survived another birthday. Which means that my husband and I are pretty good parents.

My oldest has been accepted to Universities and it's super smart, so that is a good thing too.

Got to spend a week in a beach house with all my Supervisor Co-Workers! That was an amazing bonding experience.

I was able to travel a lot this year, which I enjoy. Down side: Miss my family but worth the opportunity and they are amazingly supportive.

I was able to reconnect with my niece Staci, who I haven't seen in 5 years. That was a very special moment.

Life isn't perfect, I get that. And this year isn't perfect, but it will get better. It always gets better.
The boys got me a gift for my birthday. It's Fawkes from Harry Potter, the Phoenix. I feel it's a metaphor for how this year is ending and next year will begin. We will rise from the ashes of 2016 and make 2017 beautiful. Who's with me???

Happy New Year to all of you!


Thursday, December 22, 2016

When you are grumpy AF

I'm grumpy today! I mean, really grumpy. I don't know what has come over me but I am bitchy and just all around angry at the world. 

Often times you feel pissy and that's totally cool. But I'm not like this. I'm not grumpy. I can be a bitch don't get me wrong but it's always with a smile. 
It's a weird moment when you realize that, damn that was nasty to say. I don't like saying I'm wrong, it's a rare occasion, but I certainly deserved to give my hubs an apology. Of course, he knew and understand that he made a dick comment too, but all is forgiven. 

I think the moral of this post is that it's okay to be grumpy, just don't be a complete asshole too. That isn't a good mix. 

Tomorrow will be better because I said so. Looking forward to a break with the kids and enjoying the beauty of life. 

Hope you have a magical holiday season. Whatever you celebrate or don't. Just be kind is all I ask. 

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

Wow, Welcome back to ME!

Dang, it's been 2 1/2 years since my last blog. I know I know, shit got real in 2014! But happy to report that I am cancer free and feeling damn fine.

So, here I am. Jen James. Who the fuck cares? Well I care, I'm here and ain't going anywhere!

I got to go to this amazing Palooza style event in Austin Texas, which was hosted by my work, Crisis Text Line. So many incredible individuals collected together in one space.

Truth be told, I was nervous AF. I knew these people only online or on our platform. I wanted to see them but really truly didn't know what to expect. As the Crisis Counselors gathered at the check in table I could see the excitement on their faces when they saw me! I was excited to but until they had a name tag on I was lost.
Let's face it, I'm a hugger and not everyone is a hugger. I did all I could to respect that. But THANK the baby Jesus that the majority were huggers too!
I received the most amazing, beautiful hugs. It made all me fears melt away.
I also received some pretty rad little gifts. Just the outpour of love and emotions was insane.

Oddest, and most memorable gift was from a CC named Kim. She gave me an eggplant emoji shaped vibrator. I mean. How hilarious right? Kim is like a soul sista, and we would chat all the time on the platform and on FB, and so it wasn't as far fetched of a gift, but it was certainly a surprise.

I got to share my survivor story with all of the Crisis Counselors. I never shared it publicly before.I shared the stories of my birth, my suicide attempt and my cancer kickassery. The warm reception afterward was so incredibly supportive, I 'almost' cried. I don't cry easily.

What I took away from Palooza was this: Every single person there had the most empathetic soul on the face of the earth. The diversity that Crisis Text Line has in our volunteers and staff is insane! The love in this community is nuts! We need more people in the world like our Crisis Counselors. I adore them all and I know that they will be the force that changes the world. If you are interested in Volunteering check out the main website www.crisistextline.org/volunteer