Sunday, May 7, 2017

The year of the Jen...that's a thing right?

I've been gone from home for 2 weeks. I got to spend time with staff members at the Crisis Text Line. It was magical to hang with them face to face, collaborate on ideas, and have my mind blown about automation. I have always been afraid of automating things, but Assaf, one of our engineers, opened my mind to all the things. I’m no longer afraid and feel I can be a dreamer of many ideas now. It’s bizarre. 

I’m in a new place in life, and my mind is so open to new things, new ideas and new perspective of life. It’s odd. I’m not one for change. I like my little happy world, but I’m seeing my world grow and expand to new heights. What’s up with that??
After the staff retreat I was able to travel to the American Association of Suicidology conference in Phoenix, AZ. I was there to work the booth for Crisis Text Line and to present the newest product that we will be launching soon. I’m so proud of being with Crisis Text Line. I just passed my 2 year mark with them as a full time employee. Being part of the this organization and giving me hope and strength to share so much about myself. I was able to share for the first time in my life publicly, my suicide attempt. I shared it in front of 250 people. That’s nuts. It’s something I kept quiet for so many years. 22 to be exact. AAS 2014 was the year I saw it’s okay to talk about it. Power houses like Misha Kesler, Craig Miller, Dese'Rae Stage and Kevin Hines, shared their stories. They are magical and always an inspiration to me. 
I deemed 2017 my year. My year to shine within and out. The year to screw that fear and really open up. I say “Fear is the cock blocker of dreams” and this resonates with me more than anyone can know. 
I always feared of being judged for my attempt, I also always feared change. But I recognize that it’s stopping me from reaching for the stars. 

This year is about me, not in an arrogant way, but in a way that my health is important. My family is important and my life is important. Whatever happens this year. I know it will be good. Shit happens, yes I get that, but I won’t let it smear. Just flush it down the toilet and be free. 

Yep, I totally ended that on a poop note. 


2 comments:

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  2. I am right here with you! You are amazing and I can bet this year is going to be an exciting one. I have been feeling the winds of change over here too - I have told my hubs that I want to give myself the gift of a year. I have his full support and it is going to be amazing - I look forward to reading your adventures

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